What if I choose to forgive?

 

What if I choose to forgive? 

This card came to life at a time in my life when someone I trusted betrayed my trust.  My life radically changed as a result of this. For some time after, it was all a bit of a blur.  I was searching for peace…peace in my heart and my mind.  One night I went to bed asking “God help me help myself so I can help others” then woke up at 3 am in the morning and drew this picture.  From here on I started my journey of forgiveness.  When I look at this picture, I feel the tingling buzz of courage and wisdom.

 Your choice makes the difference.  To choose to forgive.  Or.  To choose not to forgive.  That is where your power lies. 

Whatever it is that you are holding onto.  A betrayal of your trust, unfairness , unfaithfulness, , something that had been said or done to you or something that you have said or done to another .

If you choose not to forgive, you take the risk of becoming your own prisoner in the gates of anger, pain, resentment, jealousy etc. towards ‘that situation’, ‘that person’, ‘those words’.  And you deny yourself the thing that is rightfully yours…happiness…the joy in life the way you truly want and deserve it.  To still feel anger towards a person 20 years later…and they don’t even know about it. Only you do. And only you suffer.  Or should I say, choose to suffer.  How many beautiful moments will you choose to let you pass by because you carry the ‘stuff’ from the past?  Is that situation, that person or those words worth you missing out on what you truly deserve now?  When will you choose to forgive and set your heart free? Build a new dream.  A new vision.  Make a new friend.  

If you choose to forgive, I welcome you on a journey.  A journey of strength and courage.  To look the tiger in the eyes and step forward until it disappears.  Every step is an opportunity to forgive again and again.  The tiger will creep up at you from all sorts of directions.  A reminder of past memory, the tone of someone’s voice, seeing someone’s face, the words you may over hear on the bus or on television.  Yes, all these things will bring up the emotions of…you know what they are…giving you the opportunity in that moment to choose to forgive again and again. Until you tame the tiger, reach out and pat it’s cute furry head.  

As you choose to forgive again and again, it helps to remind yourself why you are choosing to forgive.  Remind yourself of what you are missing out on if you don’t forgive and what you are gaining when you do.  I can say with absolute confidence, in time the tiger is awesome to play with.  I love the way it prrrrrrrs as I rub its belly…hehehe

Below are a couple of things I would like to share with you that have helped me through my journey:

Sometimes getting it off your chest helps,  so talk to a friend.  Write it down as a story as to ‘What happened, how did it make me feel and how are you feeling about it right now’. Then read it aloud several times to a friend if you need the support or just to yourself.  The first few times you read it, if you experience strong emotion, let it be, keep going and ask your fiend just to listen and send you love.  Then read it again and again. What I experienced, when I read my story the 3th time, I didn’t get as emotional and the 4th time I felt like I was just reading a story.  At the end it felt like I have dumped some of the load off my shoulders. 

———————————————————————————————-Another great exercise for all you visual people, is to draw. The aim of this exercise is to draw on the resources that may help you throughout your journey of forgiveness.

Before you start, grab two pieces of paper and on the bottom right hand corner number them page 1 and page 2.  If you can, get different colour pencils or pens.  If not just one colour will do.

On PAGE 1:  Place page 1 in front of you.  Now close your eyes (for 5 seconds & try not to go over 5 seconds) and imagine the situation on hand that you are seeking to forgive.  Open your eyes and pick a colour that you are drawn to, a colour that represents how you are currently feeling.  (If you only have one colour its ok) Then draw whatever comes to you.  There is no right or wrong here. It could be anything from a line across the page to various shapes or representations.  Go ahead and draw whatever comes to you. (For this drawing allocate no more them 10 seconds). Then put your pen or pencil down.

Let me ask you a question.  When was the last time you picked you nose?  Were you 5years old or did you secretly do it the other day when you though no one was watching? Have you ever been busted with your finger right up there?  Hmmm…something to think about.  Anyway, backing to the exercise.  Where were we?  Now, move page 1 aside & make sure your drawing is facing down.  Pick up the blank page 2 and place it in front of you.

 On PAGE 2:  On this page we are going to capture how you want to feel instead of what you captured on page 1.  Close your eyes and answer the following questions.  What do I need even more of right now to help me forgive and get through this? (is it courage, strength, a believe that I can or the knowing that I will be ok no matter what).  What do I need even more of right now to help me forgive and get through this?  What do I want my life to be like when I have forgiven?  Who will I be even more of when I have forgiven?  What does that look like? How does that feel?  

Then open your eyes and pick a colour that you are drawn to, a colour that represents how you are currently feeling.  (If you only have one colour its ok) Then draw whatever comes to you.  There is no right or wrong here. It could be anything from a line across the page to various shapes or representations.  For this drawing allocate approximately 1-2 minutes.

Great!  How is your master piece?  Next, put your two drawings side by side so the two pages are touching one another.  Then starting from one page, draw a bridge through to the next.  You can draw any type of bridge you like, as long as it joins the two pages.   

Now we are going to bring the resources from PAGE 2 into PAGE 1 by bringing shapes and colours from PAGE 2 onto PAGE 1.  (see example below). What I have done in mine, I added the red coloured shapes of stars, heart, swirl from my page 2 to page 1. (If you are only using one colour, then transfer the shapes only)

     *Two pages before I drew the bridge betweeen them

  * After I drew the bridge & brought shapes & colour from page 2 into page 1.

Look at your completed page 1.  If it feels good to look at it, you drawing is complete.  Otherwise you may wish to add more shapes and colours to it from page 2, until it does feel good to look at.  When it does, display your master piece (page 1) somewhere you can see it for as long as you wish to.  And enjoy using the new gained resources =)

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All the best to you all…Live…Love…and make the most of every moment…for they are all precious…

Love, Eva  xoxo    

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